Selbermach Samstag

Welche Themen interessieren euch, welche Studien fandet ihr besonders interessant in der Woche, welche Neuigkeiten gibt es, die interessant für eine Diskussion wären und was beschäftigt euch gerade?

Welche interessanten Artikel gibt es auf euren Blogs? (Schamlose Eigenwerbung ist gerne gesehen!)

Welche Artikel fandet ihr in anderen Blogs besonders lesenswert?

Welches Thema sollte noch im Blog diskutiert werden?

Für das Flüchtlingsthema oder für Israel etc gibt es andere Blogs

Zwischen einem Kommentar, der nur einen Link oder einen Tweet ohne Besprechung des dort gesagten enthält, sollten mindestens 5 Kommentare anderer liegen, damit noch eine Diskussion erfolgen kann.

Ich erinnere auch noch mal an Alles Evolution auf Twitter und auf Facebook.

Wer mal einen Gastartikel schreiben möchte, auch gerne einen feministischen oder sonst zu hier geäußerten Ansichten kritischen, der ist dazu herzlich eingeladen

Es wäre nett, wenn ihr Artikel auf den sozialen Netzwerken verbreiten würdet.

Die Schwiegermutter als Problemfall

Auf Reddit gab es einen interessanten Artikel:

My bf (22) and I (23) have been dating for 3 years. When we first started dating his mom was weird about me being another girl to add to the family since his family has for a long time been his brother, him, his dad and his mom. Apparently my bf dad liked me off the bay and I liked his family as well however my bf expressed that his mom wasn’t sure if she liked me. I decided to not take it personally since she didn’t know me well. After we had been dating for about a year I felt like part of the family and got along with everyone great. My bf is pretty close with his family so we would see them once or twice a week and that would be fine however it was very draining to spend time with his mom. What I mean by this is that we would come over for dinner with his mom and dad and after dinner his mom would want to have “girl talk”. She frequently talked about leaving her husband and gossiped about my bfs brothers gf. She would call the other girl provacative names because of the way she dressed and expressed that she hoped her son would leave her. She even went so far as to try to coax her son to break up with his gf. However there was no real character issue it was just that fact that the mom didn’t like her. Well after quite a few months of these dinners and girl talks I became extremely emotionally exhausted and I had a really bad distaste for her. I didn’t want to be around her so much because I was exhausted. I told my boyfriend however he didnt seem to comprehend why even though I told him everything his mom was putting on me. He continued to bring us over for dinner dates and one day I snapped at his mother and told her i didn’t feel like talking and I needed some space. She immediately got angry and went to my boyfriend and said are you serious? And during the situation he was dumbfounded. He didn’t say anything and seemed so confused. We left and stopped having dinners. At the time I wanted to repair the situation and I sent a text saying I was sorry and that I was feeling under a lot of pressure and that I valued our relationship to which she responded “whatever you need!” followed by a ton of cheery emojis however did not seem sincere. Since then it has been rocky and she has outcast me from their family and started posting pictures with the other gf as if she wasn’t calling her names and wanting her son to break up with her. She got angry when my boyfriend and I tried to go on a vacation and insisted that her and her husband come along and then on the vacation she didn’t want me to go anywhere alone with my bf or to even talk to her husband. In her words exactly she told me “you are not to have a relationship with my husband if you don’t have a relationship with me”. And she even accused me of coming onto her husband. My boyfriend knows all of this and has talked to his mom about the situations however she has never tried to reach out and mend the relationship or even try to have any sort of relationship since then. My bf and I have been together going on 3 years and it bothers me so much that all of that and more happened and it seems that they have put it behind them. I have so many negative feelings towards her however I don’t feel like I can talk to my bf about it because it would stress him out and I don’t want to be the source of negative when I can guarantee that his mother has already got the position filled. Anyway im bringing this up on here because I am in flight school working towards becoming a pilot and my bf said his family said they would want me to join their family business with my schooling and I felt pretty strongly against it. His mom is the one who wants a family business and I feel it’s pretty tone deaf to ask me for my trade after the way she has treated me. I have felt so shunned by his family it is such a polarizing change for them to suddenly want me to join them after learning of my career. I told my boyfriend it was probably a no and it seems that he doesn’t understand why I stand where I do. I want things to work with my boyfriend and I want to move forward and move on from these issues however I don’t feel heard or understood and I don’t feel that she has taken any accountability for so many awful things she has said and done it’s difficult for me to put on a front in front of my bf. What do I do?

Tl;DR boyfriends mom has said extreme things and has continued to be disrespectful. Bf doesn’t do much to stop and either acknowledge actions of his mother. Gf is feeling alone and unsure how to proceed

Gut, es ist noch nicht direkt die Schwiegermutter, weil sie ja nur eine Beziehung haben, aber das Prinzip ist ja das gleiche und ähnliche Geschichten dürfte es häufiger geben:

  • Schwiegermutter mag die Schwiegertochter nicht obwohl diese nichts großartiges falsch gemacht hat
  • Sohn will sich lieber raushalten, weil er zum einen weiß, dass seine Mutter sonst den totalen Krieg anfängt (vermute ich) und er sich auch nicht gegen seine Mutter stellen will aber natürlich auch nicht gegen seine Freundin.

Von Schwiegervätern hört man so etwas seltener. Klar, es gibt auch den sehr dominanten Schwiegervater, der es nicht ertragen kann, dass sein Sohn/seine Tochter aus seinem Einfluss rauskommt und sie oft über das finanzielle an sich bindet. Aber es ist nicht der gleiche „Archetyp“ wie die Schwiegermutter.