„Ich wäre so viel besser für sie als ihr jetziger Freund“

Aufgabenstellung:

  1. Besprechen Sie den nachfolgenden Song unter den Gesichtspunkten „Attraktivität von „Arschlöchern“ und der Nice Guy Problematik“
  2. Erörtern Sie die Effektivität der Vorgehensweise ihr darzulegen, dass sie es bei einem selbst besser hätte und grenzen Sie dies zu anderen Vorgehensweisen wie etwa dem „Boyfriend Destroyer“ aus dem Pickupbereich ab

I won’t lie to you
I know he’s just not right for you
And you can tell me if I’m off
But I see it on your face
When you say that he’s the one that you want
And you’re spending all your time
In this wrong situation
And anytime you want it to stop

I know I can treat you better
Than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all on your wasted crime
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can

I’ll stop time for you
The second you say you’d like me too
I just wanna give you the loving that you’re missing
Baby, just to wake up with you
Would be everything I need and this could be so different
Tell me what you want to doCause I know I can treat you better
Than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all on your wasted crime
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better

Better than he can
Better than he can

Give me a sign
Take my hand, we’ll be fine
Promise I won’t let you down
Just know that you don’t
Have to do this alone
Promise I’ll never let you down

Cause I know I can treat you better
Than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
And all on your wasted crime
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better…

Better than he can(oh)
Better than he can
Better than he can

Wie man das andere Geschlecht als Jugendlicher respektiert – Tipps für beide Seiten

Eine Seite veröffentlichte Tipps für Jungs, wie sie Mädchen respektvoll behandelt sollten:

1. Treat girls as human because that is what they are. They breathe and they have feelings. Your words and actions can cause lasting damage. Think before you speak and act.

2. No slut-shaming*. Girls have the right to wear whatever they like without fear of being sexually assaulted. What they are wearing or the fact that they enjoy sex is not an invitation for you to make unwanted sexual advances or speak about or to a girl in slut-shaming terms.

3. When a girl says ‘NO’ to anything she means ‘NO!’ She does not mean ‘maybe’ or ‘I’m not sure’. Girls can say ‘NO’ at any time during sexual contact. This means you STOP immediately.

4. Girls are equal to you in brain power. In fact, many will exceed you. This may be news to you but they can also be physically stronger than you. They can also be better at sport.

5. Many girls love to have fun and party. This does not mean you can come onto them (make sexual advances) when they are drunk or high. In fact, this is a good time to look out for them as you would any human in a similar situation.

6. Girls are not here on this earth for your pleasure. They are not sexual objects. It may be news to you but they do not like cat-calling*, gossiping with others about their bodies or appearance, being stared at while going about their daily routines.

7. Pornography is not real. It is not what a loving respectful relationship looks like. What you may have seen are two or more actors. Even though the woman appears to enjoy sex that objectifies and degrades her, in real-life this most likely is not the case. A loving relationship is where two people enjoy time together and both enjoy sex that is mutually respectful.

8. Do not tell a girl you love/like her, get her to take a naked selfie and then post it on the internet so you look impressive to your friends. I repeat, DO NOT do this despicable and illegal act.

9. Do not take pictures of girls without their permission. Do not post such pictures on the internet. I repeat, DO NOT do this despicable and illegal act.

10. Lastly, be a kind, good human being to all other human beings this includes girls.

 

Eine Antwort darauf waren diese Vorschläge für Mädchen, wie sie Jungs respektvoll behandeln sollten:

1. Treat boys as human because that is what they are. They breathe and have feelings. Your words and actions can cause lasting damage. Think before you act and speak. Just because they don’t outwardly show every emotion they have doesn’t mean they don’t have them.

2. No sex shaming. Boys have every right to look at what they find to be sexually attractive without being shamed for it. Masturbation is perfectly natural and essential to male health and longevity. They have a right to enjoy sex without being called a pig or gross. Just because a guy finds a girl more attractive than you isn’t an invitation for you to mock or harass him about it. Male sexuality is also not an invitation to sexually assault him, either. He may have consented to you sexually touching him but that doesn’t mean he consented to you giving him “blue balls.” It’s painful, and he didn’t consent to that. If you want him to respect your body you need to respect his.

3. When boys say “No,” they mean no. Just because TV, parents, and your feminist teachers tell you all boys want is sex doesn’t make it true. Boys have every right to say no just like girls do, only when boys say “No,” unlike girls they almost always mean it. You may say one thing and mean another or “talk between the lines,” but boys are generally much more straightforward. If a boy says no, it doesn’t matter what you want at that point. You need to either stop touching him or respect his boundaries. It’s rape when you force a boy to have sex against his will.

4. Boys are equal in awareness of emotions. In fact, many boys may have emotional responses to things you don’t. They may even surpass in emotional awareness and empathy. They can even be better at you at fassion.

5. Don’t gaslight him. Don’t dress and act like a whore and then tell him he’s hateful for observing your actions. If you dress like a whore and you act like a whore, everyone is going to think you’re a whore. No matter who you are, when you go out into the world, people are going to judge you. You are going to judge them. We live in a society of people with social expectations of what is and isn’t socially acceptable. You don’t have to dress and act like a whore to get a boys attention, and if you do they will most likely get the wrong idea about you.  Also, don’t become a walking example of false advertising. Makeup is only supposed to enhance your natural beauty. If people can’t tell you are wearing makeup, chances are you have the right amount on. You don’t have to put on two coats. You’re not waxing a car.

6. Boys are not here on Earth to buy you every little thing you want. They are not your emotional baggage handler. They are not your personal slave. They don’t owe you money. It isn’t their job to buy you things. Get a job and buy your own stuff. Boys aren’t emotional playthings.

7. Boys aren’t emotional playthings. Don’t try to emotionally manipulate boys into getting what you want. Don’t use boys as decoy boyfriends to throw off your parents. It’s mean and hurtful.

8. Twilight is not real. These are characters in a book. They are not real people. The “dangerous” character who falls in love with the girl is nothing more that a whitewash of the bad boy image who will take care of his girl friend. In real life bad boys act out in all sorts of violent and destructive ways. They are only nice to you because they want something from you. Sure, it seems exciting to be with a guy who always breaks the rules, but when these angry, damaged, violent boys get mad at you (and they will as it is inevitalable in all relationships of all kinds) they will turn violent on you. To know the difference beteen a boy who will treat you right versus a boy who won’t, look at how that boy treats others who won’t benefit him. Nice boys are always nice unless you give them a reason not to be, bad boys are always bad until they have a reason to pretend other wise.

9. Take responsibility for your own actions. Nobody can convince you to do something risky without your consent. Waking up coyote ugly is not rape. Don’t be reckless with your body. You can’t expect others to respect your body when you don’t. If you’re getting black out drunk and can’t remember the night before, don’t assume the guy next to you raped you. Don’t drink if you’re underage. Don’t drink if you can’t handle alcohol.

10. Stand up for yourself and fight your own battles. Don’t tell a boyfriend to go beat someone up just because you don’t like them. Don’t lie to a boyfriend about being raped or sexually assaulted because a boy said something to you that you didn’t like, or “made you angry.” This isn’t just a lack of respect for boys it also demeans all girls who have had boys sexually assault them, because with every false claim, those girls are taken less seriously and are much less likely to be believed. Sex should never be a tool to harm someone.

11. Nobody can make you mad, glad, or sad. Nobody has control over your emotions but you. Sure others can try and manipulate your emotions, but they are still your emotions and nobody can offend you without your permission. Take control of your brain, your thoughts, and your emotions. it isn’t just about personal strength but demonstrates a level of maturity.

12. Be a kind good human being to everyone boy or girl. Everyone deserves at least some respect, but remember respect is mostly earned not given.

Teilweise zeigen sich hier die üblichen Kriegsschauplätze (zB No means No), teilweise sind es natürlich sinnvolle Tipps (man sollte selbstverständlich niemals vertrauliche Fotos von jemanden nicht vertraulich behandeln und schon gar nicht ins Internet stellen, man sollte aber auch überlegen, ob man gewisse Fotos sendet und wie hoch das Risiko ist, dass sie in anderen Händen landen etc)

Was haltet ihr von den Tipps?

Was Frauen antörnt XX

In Japan gibt es bereits seit längerem Spiele, in denen Frauen einen „virtuellen Liebhaber“ haben. Interessant ist, welche Figuren am Besten bei den Frauen ankommen:

When I asked Gray which character types tend to perform best, she told me that the „sadistic but charismatic“ archetype is beloved in both Japan and the US. She pointed to Eisuke Ichinomiya, which she says is the most popular character in Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Voltage’s top-grossing game in the US. In most dating sims, the player chooses which story they’d like to play by perusing a character menu rife with alluring boyfriend options; in Voltage games, each character has his own profile page featuring a brief personality synopsis and occasionally a quote describing his hypothetical relationship with the player. On Eisuke’s character profile, he is billed in glittering pink and purple script as a „cold-hearted narcissist.“ His quote is „I’m going to make you mine. And you don’t get to say no.“

Der Bildschirm, über den man ihn auswählen kann ist dort ebenfalls als Bild enthalten, es sieht so aus:

dating-sims-body-image-1458322560

Was haben wir da:

  • Aussehen: Attraktiv
  • Mulitmillionäre: Ressourcen
  • Denkt die Welt dreht sich nur um ihn: Status
  • Immer von Frauen umgeben: Preapproved by women
  • „Ich mache dich mein“: Er interessiert sich für dich
  • „und dein Nein interessiert mich nicht“: Anführer, Dominant

Also klassische Elemente, die sich in sehr vielen Darstellungen von Männern finden, die Frauen attraktiv finden.

Of course, this isn’t unique to Voltage, nor is it even confined to dating simulation games. As anyone who lived through the year 2005 can attest, „I’m going to make youmine. And you don’t get to say no“ is basically the central narrative of Twilight, an omnipresent cultural phenomenon that went onto influence the Fifty Shades of Grey series, an equally omnipresent cultural phenomenon with the exact same plot. „In real life, most women tend to avoid choosing [this type of person] as a boyfriend or husband,“ Gray said. In romance apps, however, women can’t get enough of it. „Usually [this character is] sadistic and mean to you, but sometimes, when you and him are alone, he becomes so sweet and very kind to you,“ Gray explained.

Like Voltage’s millions of other customers worldwide, I quickly came to find the virtual experience of blandly flirting with a variety of assorted hunks, all of whom are inexplicably obsessed with me, very absorbing.

(…)

The allure of the unkind man in fiction is well-documented; in Reading the Romance, Janice Radway’s landmark 1984 study of the way women interact with romance novels, Radway details her interviews with numerous fans of the genre. Reviewing the plots of books that were designated as „ideal,“ she notices a striking similarity in their narrative structures: These romances tend to be „very tightly organized around the evolving relationship“ between the female protagonist and a „brooding, handsome man who is also curiously capable of soft, gentle gestures.“

The climax of these narratives necessarily involves a moment in which „the hero treats the heroine to some supreme act of tenderness, and she realizes that his apparent emotional indifference was only the mark of his hesitancy about revealing the extent of his love for and dependence upon her.“ This is also true of otome games—even the gentle male characters tend to have some sort of „hidden darkness,“ often in the form of an evil alter ego, to facilitate this moment of shocking tenderness. (Mine and Scorpio’s tender climax occurs after a run-in with a small militia composed of child soldiers—an unfortunately recurring theme in Scorpio’s life—at which point he starts calling me by my actual name and we confess our love for each other.

(…)

Here it is instructive to mention Scorpio, my favorite fake boyfriend. Per his character description, he is „A God of Unparalleled Callousness.“ His quote is, „I live for terror, dread, and hate…“ (Ellipses, again, his.) Scorpio is a star god who was banished to earth after committing a grave sin; we first meet when I fall off the roof of a planetarium and he very begrudgingly rescues me. I later learn that, before ascending to the heavens, he was a child soldier who was brainwashed by a nefarious terrorist, which explains why he is so moody now. He exclusively refers to me as „woman“ and „stupid woman.“

Also eine klassische Figur, das Arschloch/der Bad Boy mit dem Herz aus Gold. Der Mann, bei dem man die weiche Seele unter der harten Schale entdecken muss. Attraction und Comfort. Hoher Status, eine gewisse Unnahbarkeit, er muss erobert werden.

 

(zu Vorgängern der Serie)

“Don’t stick your dick in crazy” und “Don’t fuck bad boys”

Yacv hat einmal zwei sehr einfache Regeln vorgestellt, die eine Absicherung vor unliebsamen Überraschungen beim anderen Geschlecht bieten sollen:

Für Männer:

“Don’t stick your dick in crazy”

und für Frauen

“Don’t fuck bad boys”

Eigentlich sehr einfache Regeln, gegen die aber immer wieder verstoßen wird. Bei den Männer meist, weil „crazy“ oft einfachen Sex bereitstellt und diesen eben auch als Mittel der Beeinflussung einsetzt, bei Frauen, weil der Bad Boy eine Vielzahl von Attraktivitätsmerkmalen gerade für Sex bedient.

Dennoch scheint es mir eine Regel zu sein, die viel zum eigenen Glück beitragen kann.