Tag: 30. Januar 2023
Pornos in der Beziehung
Das Thema war hier schon einmal Thema
Aber es wurde mir bei Twitter und auch bei Reddit auch gerade wieder in die Timeline gespült:
Erstaunlicherweise aus meiner Sicht sagen viele Frauen in den Kommentaren, dass sie damit Probleme haben (aber auch genug, dass es ihnen egal ist und einige, dass man zusammen schaut)
Long story short is my girlfriend, who I’ve been dating for about 3 months, hasn’t been interested in sex much at all for the last few weeks. I understand we’re busy, stressed, and recently we learned she’s pregnant (we are both excited even if we know it’s way too early) and I am not going to pressure or try to coerce her. She still says she feels like everything we do is just a pretext for sex and I am trying to put sex on the back burner because I do not want her to feel like this or feel pressured in any way.
I feel like I’ve still got a pretty high sex drive though. I do want to have sex with my girlfriend, I love her a lot. She said a few weeks ago that if she doesn’t want sex then I can go take care of it myself. But the past few nights when I go take care of it myself she’s been asking me what I’ve been viewing. She seems to be alright with me viewing photos I’ve taken of her but she feels incredibly hurt and upset if it’s anyone else.
Two nights ago I told her it was saucy subreddits and she got extremely angry and hurt and I felt terrible because I didn’t know it would hurt her so much. Last night I used her photos but I told her „quite frankly I don’t think it’s your business what I touch my dick to“. I feel bad for being so crass and blunt but I genuinely feel like that. I know it was wrong of me to say that and I have apologized to her. I feel like she’s trying to control me sexually though and I don’t like it. I feel trapped. I told her those things and she got so upset that she was inconsolable. She accused me of trying to manipulate her and said I thought she was a „controlling monster“ and I would never do either of those things and that hurts. She ended up leaving and going back to her mom’s house across town. I am going to schedule couples therapy for us ASAP.
Mainly I’m making this post to ask the question of: am I wrong? Am I wrong for feeling like I shouldn’t be questioned about how I’m taking care of my own needs when I can’t have them met by her? I would never cheat on her but she feels like this is infidelity. How do I navigate this? For now I’ve resolved to be honest and respect her wishes and only use pictures of her.
Any thoughts are appreciated. Be brutally honest. We have to get past this somehow.
Das ist sicherlich ein extremes Beispiel, wobei dir Meinungen verschieden sein werden. Aus meiner Sicht sollte er laufen so schnell er kann, wenn sie ihn dergestalt kontrollieren will, dann wäre es nichts für mich.
Zugegebenermaßen hatte ich noch keine Freundin, die ich in Verdacht hatte, dass sie Pornos schaut. Insofern musste ich mich auch nicht mit der Situation beschäftigen. Wobei ich es eher interessant gefunden hätte was sie schaut und warum sie gerade das anmacht.