Stress und seine Auswirkungen darauf, wie man Verhalten des Partners in einer Beziehung wahrnimmt

Eine interessante Studie dazu, wie Stress sich auf eine Partnerschaft auswirkt:

Stressful life circumstances can destabilize the couples’ relationships by increasing tensions and hindering positive exchanges between partners. Yet, stress may be linked not only to what individuals do in their relationship but also to what they see, as stress can shift individuals’ attentional focus toward negative stimuli. To test this possibility, the current study examined whether individuals confronting more stressful life events and/or daily hassles are more likely to attentively monitor their partner’s negative relationship behaviors. A daily diary study of 79 newlywed couples revealed that individuals who recently experienced more stressful life events were especially attuned to day-to-day fluctuations in their partner’s negative behaviors, but not their partner’s positive behaviors. Moreover, these individuals generally perceived their partner as enacting more negativity across the diary period compared with individuals who faced fewer stressful events. These findings held when adjusting for several individual difference factors known to predict perceptual biases within relationships.

Quelle: When Rose-Colored Glasses Turn Cloudy: Stressful Life Circumstances and Perceptions of Partner Behavior in Newlywed Marriage

Wer also ordentlich Stress hat, der nimmt gerade negative Eigenschaften seines Partners wahr, die positiven hingegen sind davon nicht betroffen, so dass der Blick auf den Partner kritischer wird.

Das ist jetzt auch nicht wirklich überraschend, wenn wir genervt und im Stress sind, dann fällt einem üblicherweise mehr das negative auf, aber mitunter ist es auch gut, wenn eine solche Beobachtung noch einmal in einer Studie bestätigt wird und man insofern auch sensibilisiert wird.

Aus einer Besprechung der Studie:

Researchers asked 79 heterosexual newlywed couples to complete a short survey each night for 10 days, in which they documented both their own and their partner’s behavior. Before beginning this portion of the study, participants completed a questionnaire in which they shared details on stressful events in their life.

Studying newlyweds drives home the significance of the results, Dr. Neff notes, because couples are especially likely to focus on each other’s positive behavior and overlook negative actions during the “honeymoon” period.

“For many people, the past few years have been difficult – and the stress of the pandemic continues to linger,” says Dr. Neff. “If stress focuses individuals’ attention toward their partner’s more inconsiderate behaviors, this is likely to take a toll on the relationship.”

Researchers noted a single stressful day was not enough to make someone zero in on their partner’s negative behavior, but a longer accumulation of stressful life circumstances could cause this shift in focus.

The findings also suggest that those under stress were not any less likely to notice their partner’s positive behavior, but they were more likely to notice inconsiderate actions.

While it’s possible that being aware of the effects of stress could allow couples to correct their behavior and limit harm to the relationship, Dr. Neff notes that this will remain speculation until it is studied further. She also says that future research would do well to expand this study beyond the honeymoon phase.

“One direction would be to examine if the harmful effects of stress might be even stronger among couples no longer in the newlywed phase of their relationships,” says Dr. Neff, “but the fact that we found these effects in a sample of newlyweds speaks to how impactful the effects of stress can be.”

Klassische Phasen für Stress wären etwa:

• ein Kind und damit verbundener Schlafentzug, wenn das Kind sehr anstrengend ist (gerade wenn zB die Frau das Gefühl hat, dass sie sich im alles kindbezogene kümmern muss und sie dadurch gestresst ist)
• Hausbau mit Überwachung der Baustelle
• finanzielle Sorgen etc

Es kann sich also zum Wohle der Partnerschaft lohnen, dem anderen, wenn dieser besonders unter Stress steht, etwas Stress abzunehmen und ihn etwas Luft holen zu lassen.

Das kann natürlich auch leichter gesagt als getan sein.