Schlechte Geschenke und ihr Einfluss auf eine Beziehung

Passend zur Weihnachtszeit hier noch eine interessante Studie zur Auswirkung auf die Partnerschaft:

We tested the hypothesis that gifts act as markers of interpersonal similarity for both acquaintances and close relationship partners. Participants were led to believe that a new opposite sex acquaintance (Experiment 1) or romantic partner (Experiment 2) had selected either a desirable or undesirable gift for them. In Experiment 1, men viewed themselves as less similar to their new acquaintance after receiving a bad versus good gift from her, whereas women’s perceived similarity ratings were unaffected by gift quality. In Experiment 2, men reported decreased similarity to their romantic partner after receiving a bad gift, whereas women responded to the bad gift more positively; perceived similarity, in turn, had an impact on participants‘ evaluations of the relationship’s future potential. This research highlights the need for more experimental work on gift-giving, which has been largely overlooked by mainstream social psychologists despite its economic and interpersonal significance.

Quelle: The Gift of Similarity: How Good and Bad Gifts Influence Relationships

Also nochmal: Bei Männern findet sich die zu erwartende Wirkung: Bei schlechten Geschenken fühlen sie sich weniger gleich, sehen eine Differenz zum Partner, ein „Wie kann er denken, dass ich dieses Geschenk gut finde?“-Effekt.+

Frauen hingegen fanden den Partner nach einem schlechten Geschenk positiver.

Eine Erklärung dazu aus dem PsyBlog:

Dunn and colleagues explain that the more threat women felt to their relationship (i.e. from the poor gift), the more they tried to protect against this threat. With a new acquaintance in the first experiment there wasn’t much relationship to protect, so the bad gift had no effect compared to the good gift. But when there was a substantial existing relationship to protect, women were motivated to guard against this potential threat. Men, in contrast, made no such effort, saying they didn’t like their partner’s choice and, by extension, their partner.

Now before men start thinking they can use these experiments to justify giving their partners poor gifts, remember that these studies are short-term and probably only represent men and women’s first instinct when receiving good and bad gifts.

The real lesson is that women are more motivated than men to marshal psychological defence mechanisms to protect against the damaging effects of poor gifts. Over the long-term the story is likely to be the same for both sexes: bad gifts damage relationships by chipping away at their heart; the feeling that in this big, bad world you’ve found someone who really understands you, and knows what you like.

Die psychologischen Verteidigungsmechanismen sind interessant. Roissy würde hier von dem „Rationalisation Hamster“ sprechen, bei dem sich Frauen entweder die Bestimmung schön denken und die Schlechtigkeit runterspielen oder aber sich selbst schlechter denken, weil er ihnen ja sonst etwas besseres geschenkt hätte. Der gleiche Ansatz, der auch den Neg oder den False Disqualifer eine Rolle spielt.

Es gibt uns Männern zudem eine schöne Entschuldigung: Warum ich dir so etwas schlechtes geschenkt habe? Weil mir unsere Beziehung etwas bedeutet mein Schatz!

Ich vermute allerdings, dass sie den wenigsten Frauen genügen wird 😉