„Hat die Gleichberechtigung unser Sexleben zerstört?

Ein Bericht in der Daily Mail über das Buch „A million wicked thoughts“ und den darin enthaltenden Gedanken, dass Frauen Machos bzw. Männlichkeit sexy finden (via).  Ich hatte zwar schon einmal einen Artikel zu „A Billion Wicked Thoughts„, aber das Thema finde ich interessant, daher noch eine Besprechung in einem weiteren Artikel:

‘At work, I’m always the one in control and I admit that I like it that way. It’s exciting and it’s sexy being an Alpha woman,’ she says.

But when it comes to her partner Max, who is also a lawyer, albeit with a less high-profile job, she often finds herself feeling confused about who calls the shots — especially when it comes to sex. ‘When I get home, I no longer want to be the power broker, the one who’s always in charge and in control. I need to be wooed and seduced, and to feel that Max has power over me,’ she says.

(…)

Using the internet, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analysed half a billion sexual fantasies, preferences and practices, then correlated their findings with animal behaviour studies and the latest findings in neuroscience, to come to the very non-PC conclusion that when it comes to sex, women are wired to find sexual submission arousing.

And that gender equality, far from liberating women sexually, actually inhibits desire.

‘If you feel compelled to approach sex with the same gender attitudes as the working world, it’s going to be difficult to be aroused,’ says Ogas.

Feminism, to put it as bluntly as these two do, is bad for sex, and is the prime reason why increasing numbers of women are seeking help for problems associated with low libido.

 Es werden in dem Artikel aber natürlich auch Gegenstimmen aufgeführt:

As for female sexual fantasies, the counsellor and psychologist Linda Young offers a word of caution.

‘The kind of guy that stars in a woman’s sexual fantasy is not necessarily the same one who shares her values or shares parenting,’ she says.

‘And, yes, women — including feminists — are often aroused by “bad boys”. But to say feminism is causing loss of desire is misleading.

‚Feminism is about social, economic and political equity, and is independent of what turns someone on in a bedroom or a fantasy.’

There is plenty of evidence to counter the claims made by Ogas and Gaddam. One major study, involving 27,500 people conducted in 29 countries by the University of Chicago, showed that men and women aged 40-plus reported less satisfaction with the quality of their sex lives in countries where men have a dominant status over women, such as the Middle East.

Das widerspricht meiner Meinung nach allerdings der obigen Grundthese nicht. Männlich sein ist sexy, aber das muss nicht ausschließen, dass man den anderen als gleichberechtigt ansieht. Es geht ja gerade darum, dass er der Mann ist, bei dem sie sich gerne sexuell unterordnet, nicht der Mann, der es tatsächlich erzwingt.  Es geht um positive soziale Dominanz, also das Ausstrahlen von Selbstbewußtsein, Anführereigenschaften etc, nicht negative Dominanz, die erzwungen wird.

Das Schlußwort ist dann auch etwas verallgemeinernd:

Women are still coming to terms with the incredible pace of change in their lives over the past half-century. To admit to sometimes having fantasies of submission is nothing to be ashamed of. Even if you’re a feminist. It’s all part of desire’s rich tapestry. And there’s nothing remotely wicked about that.